Holy stinky feet, batman.

Liam has this friend. They hang out every day, so you could probably say they're best friends. Mention that to either one of them though and you'll get a 'look' and they'd say they're just friends.

God, 12 year olds are so weird.

But about this friend. Over this summer puberty has hit him (and Liam) with a vengeance. And along with all those lovely puberty 'things' has come overactive sweat glands. He's got the personal hygiene thing down, but he forgot one little thing.

He can't wear his runners without socks anymore.

I've noticed the stink a couple times in the past month. And I've ribbed him about it once or twice and he takes it with a grin. He knows. And he's taken to wearing socks now.

But DAMN. I think his runners are ruined because he slept over last night and it's all I could smell.

Without hesitation, I filled a bowl up with warm water and grabbed some soap and took it downstairs to him. And he was sheepish about it and I TRIED not to embarass him. But I did explain to him that it was probably his shoes that were making his feet smell like Doritos.

I was pretty close to throwing his shoes outside too, but I restrained myself.

I'll betcha he'll be getting new shoes sometime in the near future. Y'know, with junior high starting tomorrow he's got to make a good first impression with the ladies. And stinky feet is NOT how any boy or man wants to be remembered.

To my Joshy.

This is gonna be quick and dirty, since I'm out of time this morning. Today is blog hop day and it's dedicated to my youngest monster.

Josh. You were 100% a suprise and at first not a happy one. Maybe that's not nice but it's true. Your brother was only 8 months old when we found out about you and I really couldn't see past the scariness of having two kids only 16 months apart.

Then the excitement came, along with the knowledge that things always work out. I started hoping for my long-awaited girl. The ultrasound tech even gave me hope but in the end she couldn't get a good enough shot of your goods to tell me for sure.

I didn't find out you were a boy until you were born and for a split second my heart dropped. Again, not nice but it's the truth. And then came the love. I know boys. I knew I had this one in the bag.

And you would have made a horrible girl. You are a little boy through and through. I couldn't imagine you any other way, with your weekly fat lips, constant scrapes on your knees, and crazy yell.

I'm proud to tell people I'm a mother to all boys. It feels like I'm in a special club. When I think about you and your brothers I just can't imagine any other dynamic for our little family. You guys are rough and tumble and just love each other so much.

So Josh, thank you for being the best suprise and thank you for being you.

**blog hop ladies, I'm out of time for tagging so leave your link either in the comments here or on my facebook page. Lets get some traffic going!

Back from hiatus.

It's official, my last baby is not a baby anymore. I'm not at all sad about this.

In fact, I can't wait until he's a little bit older and calms the eff down already. Although...if we're being completely honest I think that is more to do with his personality and not so much to do with his age. This youngest one is a bit of a party animal. And he's wild. SO WILD.

It's been about a week and a half that he's completely weaned off the boob. Okay, so he'd been down to only in the morning for the past couple months but still. It's nice to be done for good.

One more thing that pushes Josh from baby straight into toddler with no chance of looking back? He's regularily climbing out of his crib. And not even the climbing up to the top and then falling down to the floor version, he scales that thing like a monkey.

Looks like we'll be dusting off the trusty toddler bed this weekend. That $150 purchase 10 years ago has surely been put to good use. Even though it's ugly as hell. But there's no way I could bring up the idea of buying another bed. Because numerous people would agree that I probably have a bit of a problem buying childrens beds.

Liam is 12 and he's had...6? Ya, I think 6 different beds, including his crib and toddler bed.

But now that we've brought up the subject, how cute would matching beds and blankets look in there? I'm thinking IKEA (of course) Malm beds, in a light color to match their dresser. With a bookcase between them...

I should probably go back to cleaning the house now. Best not to keep going down that path.

T-five hours!

Today is the day I'm finally doing something I have been talking about for years and years. I'm chopping the hair off.

Little nervous. Mostly excited.

I showed Jeff the picture I sent to my hairdresser (the talented Monica of Dare Your Hair) and here's what I got:

'You're going blond too? How about red...or black, black would be hot. Like your hair at Halloween...' (and on and on and rawr and blah blah blah).

It's going chocolate brown honey, sorry.

I was describing the cut to Liam, and in typical 12 year old boy fashion, this is what I got from him:

'You're going to look like a boy. I'm not sure that'll be a good look for you.'

Thanks for the honesty kid. How about this. You look like Justin Beiber. Snap.

Stay tuned for the big reveal. I'm hoping I don't look like a big huge idiot that made an unfortunate hair choice.

My time is now precious.

I never realised how much of a cut my time would take, what with me having a part time job and all.

I haven't stepped foot inside of a gym in two weeks and my waistline is SO PROTESTING. One could say that to compensate I should cut my caloric intake. That would be smart. I am apparently not that smart.


Also, my kids are having a hard time with me leaving them a couple days a week to go to work. As I'm writing this, I've come to the realization that their recent whining is a direct result of this. They're used to having my undivided attention every moment of the day and it's taking some getting used to.

That said...I'll be making more of an effort to figure out how to get to the gym at least 3 times a week. Perhaps a bike is needed so that I can get there quickly during the day while at least Josh is sleeping . This is where Liam makes the big bucks with babysitting.

And the kids being whiney little a-holes? That's where me getting down on their level more often will come into play. They just miss their mommy, and maybe now that I understand this it will translate into me being more patient with them. They're just almost 2 and 3 after all. And they need this opportunity to become more independant of me.

I don't think we need to contemplate whether the 12 year old misses me. Especially at this moment when he's restricted to the house after a less than stellar 3rd term report card. Oh the joys of parenthood.

Honestly though, some days it's a joy to walk out the door. I probably need this just as much as they do. Ahhhhh.

Bad things happen in 3's...X 2.

So, my day yesterday? It pretty much takes the cake on a scale of suckiness.

First thing, Josh-the-diaper-ripper took a pee on the rug in his room. Sadly, this isn't a one time deal. He's obsessed with his weiner and loves to be free.

Then Nicky got a hold of the counter cleaner and sprayed it in his face. That was after he ate half the sugar/cinnamon mix that I keep for sandwiches etc. The rest of it went all over the counter and floor. I'm pretty sure he won't be messing with the cleaner again after I bent him backward over the tub and poured a jug of cold water over his head. Kids gotta learn somehow right?

To finish off the trifecta of awesomeness, Josh got the bottle of maple syrup out of the fridge and oh so quietly emptied most of it onto the kitchen floor. In multiple areas. And then walked through it and all over the house before I noticed. I'm pretty sure he rolled in it a bit too, just as a 'fuck you' to his mom. Pardon the language.

This was all before 9 am.

I was able to keep my cool, clean up the messes, and generally be chill for the remainder of the day. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted to run screaming out of the house (locking them inside for safety's sake of course), but I managed to persevere. And then 4:30 hit.

At 4:30 a couple things happened all at once. Actually it was 3 main things, which makes me think that those people that say bad things happen in 3's do know what the hell they're talking about.

You know how when you're trying to make dinner that's the time when the kids decide to get all whiney and clingy and just generally annoying? They were both hanging off each of my legs and hitting each other and arguing.

Then Liam calls from his friends house to tell me that there's "some thing" at his new Junior High that he has to go to at 6:30 but it's okay because he can go with his friend and the friends dad. And oh ya, he had a sheet about it but it was lost and "oh my God why is it a big deal".

Um, kid. Maybe it's a big deal because I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS SHIT. What if fees needed to be paid? What if there was information that couldn't be trusted to a 12 year old to be relayed? What if I just want to be there because you're my first born who's going into Junior High and it's a milestone?

So while my feelings are all hurt over THAT crap, I go downstairs to grab some veggies for the stir fry only to find that my storage room has flooded. Cue the swearing and slamming of doors and ohmygod everybody should be glad they were not around me at that exact moment. My poor sister was on the phone with me but she's all ragey too so she wasn't fazed one bit.

What have I learned from my crap day yesterday? Tears really ARE the best manipulator on the planet. Tears over the phone to Jeff made him pack his shit up and come home right away, stopping at Costco to pick up a new shop vac. Tears made Liam feel like crap for being insensitive and he one arm hugged me and told me he hoped the rest of my day went better as he was on his way out to his 'some thing' at the school. And tears made the 2 little ones cuddle up in my lap and be calm.

I don't pull them out often. Jeff could probably count on one hand the times he's seen me cry in our years together. But DAMN will I allow them to come if I ever have another day like yesterday.

*right now my child-free-by-choice friends are patting themselves on the back for having made such a smart decision. Touche, my friends ;)

Buzzed.

Sometimes things don't work out quite how they're intended. That's what happened to me yesterday.

Now, I don't claim to have any talent as a hairdresser at ALL. That doesn't stop me from being a cheap bastard and cutting my kids hair myself. Technically that wasn't my intention when I pulled out the scissors yesterday. We were actually planning on taking them to a real-life hairdresser and getting them each a cut from a professional. For real. I'm NOT just saying that after the fact.

But I got so tired of the bangs in their eyes so I decided to just trim a tiny little bit off the bangs and at the nape just to hold over until we made it to the mall. Our weekends have been so busy lately that we haven't made it and the thought of taking them both by myself...well let's say that pretty much anything else would be preferable.

Josh sat there fine while I trimmed. He looked a little goofy but I figured it would be a week tops till we got it fixed so meh, whatever. Then it was Nickys turn. I'm going along, he's twisting around, and then it happened. His bangs were cut to about an inch long. GOOBER. See below.

My cousin was over having coffee and she was laughing her ass off the whole time. She even tried to tell me he looked fine. SURE DEB.

It was time for the clippers and the rite of passage: the buzz cut. Best friend of cheap parents everywhere. Again, Josh sat happily still for the cut. Which suprised me because of the two I was sure he was the one I was going to be chasing around like a crazed clipper-killer.

Nicky was a totally different story. It took me an hour, a sucker, a chocolate pudding, some fruit snacks, and a daddy to finally get the job done. Screaming and crying as if I was torturing him. Pleading and begging and bargaining. A couple times I had him wedged between my thighs and managed a couple swipes up the back. Then Jeff got home and managed to sweet talk him into sitting still for the 60 seconds it took to complete the job.

Much praise ensued, and I gotta say they look pretty damn cute. They look even more alike now and last night when they were sleeping I almost didn't know which was which. This morning when I unleashed them on Jeff to wake him up, he asked me which one was poking his head up over the side of the bed.