Cringe!

Right now I'm listening to one of the defining albums of my youth.

Live Through This-Hole

I wanted to be Courtney Love SO BAD when I was 16. We had a "band" in high school (in which all 4 of us played the guitar...) and I had visions of myself onstage in a ratted out baby doll with one foot perched on my speaker, screaming into the mic.

One day my best friend and I sang a song for her uncle and asked him which of our voices sounded the most like Love's voice. Way to put him on the spot huh? He told me my voice was too nice. I vowed that day to chainsmoke until I had that same rasp. Duh, alcoholic and heroin addiction? Anyway.

I had a teaser the other day about finding my diary from 15+ years ago. As embarrassing as it is, and it's TRULY EMBARRASSING, I'm feeling a tad nostalgic. So I'm going to post an excerpt. I had to dig for one that didn't make me want to hit myself in the head too hard. I was such a....teenager.

Kids today think they're emo. They gots nothing on a 16 year old from the 90's. For example:

June 11, 1995

Dear Diary,
I'm trying to be calm and cool but I'm SOOO HAPPY (even as a
teenager I wrote in all caps)!!!
Kay, Steve & Alana broke up. I guess it was a while ago, but that's
beside the point. Do you think I'm obsessed? Ya? Oh well. I can remember when I
thought I was over Steve-hah! I just like him so much. I wonder what kind of
kisser he is. I think I could make a relationship with him better than that
bitch Alana. On Friday I did 10 gravol tabs and tripped so bad. God, it was
freaky. I don't know if I'm ever gonna do that again. I hear that Steve does
prescription drugs. I don't know about that guy. Oh well, he can't influence me.
Right? I have a feeling (and it better happen) that he's gonna talk to me this
week. I'll tell you when he does.

Luv Chan

June 12, 1995

Dear Diary,
I'm in a really bitchy mood right now, and I don't know why. So I'm
trying to keep to myself as much as possible. My dear sweet old parents aren't
getting the drift that I like being in my room. "Come outside". Fuck that!
Maybe I'll write more later. FUCK

Lovely hey? Ahhhh to be 16 again. And for the record, Steve never did notice me and yes, I WAS obsessed with him all through high school. I wrote a song about how much I hated Alana. I defaced her picture in my yearbook.

Enjoy!

Motherhood is a thankless job.

I gave Liam the benefit of the doubt and let him pack his own duffel bag for a 7 day snowboarding trip:

-6 pairs of jeans.
-1 pair of sweats.
-3 pajama pants.
-4 short sleeved shirt (for the MOUNTAINS!!)
-3 pairs of underwear.
-1 pair of socks.

Oh ya, and 6 X-Box games.

....

Um. Toothbrush and toothpaste? Enough socks and underwear? Maybe a long sleeve shirt or two, and at LEAST one sweater?

Looks like some 11 year olds still need their mommies. Not that there will be even a whisper of appreciation when he gets home.

Shenanigans.

I will be the first one to admit that my younger two children are hooligans. I try to deny it and prefer to pretend that other people think they're as cute as we do. In my more lucid moments the reality up and hits me upside the head. They're quite monster-ish.

Case in point, and this illustrates my point so precisely that it makes me want to weep;

Josh was hungry, it wasn't quite lunchtime yet so I set a bowl of cottage cheese on the table for him to eat. I tried to make him sit in his chair so I could strap him in but he was being so damn whiney that I decided to let him sit (stand) on the bench to eat it.

Jeff and I were chatting about stuff. The grocery list I think. I was keeping an eye on Josh but he's a wily one and knows that if he's good then my attention wanders and he has a small window of time where he can create mayhem.

Sure enough a couple minutes pass and then Nicky comes into the kitchen. "Oh my Gawd, my sock is messy".

Jeff takes a quick look and wonders out loud how he got cottage cheese, of all things, on his sock.

SHIT. Yup Josh isn't at the table. I run for paper towels and a wet cloth to clean up whatever disaster has occurred in the living room. Jeff runs to the living room to assess the damage.

The scene: a bowlful of cottage cheese dumped in the corner of the couch with a nice pile dripping down the back of the couch into a puddle at the bottom of one of the wicker baskets that hold toys. They like to turn the baskets on their side and shove them up to the couch so they can climb up and over the couch. Ya.

Josh is happily smooshing the mess around on the floor and Nicky is yelling "bad boy Josh, oh my Gawd you're so messy", while helping smoosh the cottage cheese around.

Kids-1/parents-0.

To all the people to whom we've subjected our children, we apologize. We know they're unruly, but it's cute. Right?