30 December 2012

Clever Lads

How about a lesson in cunning? Lets call it 'The Small Child's Guide To Getting What You Want'.

1. Make sure you're in a very public place, with lots of people around. Preferably old ladies. A grocery store line up works perfectly.

2. Lock onto the prize. Candy usually works best in these cases, the jumbo size to make it all worth it.

3. Make sure you have your big brother on backup. He's not vital to the operation but it never hurts to ensure victory.

4. Hold out the jumbo size candy to your dad-Skittles in this case-and utter the following sentence:

"Daddy, I want to taste the rainbow" 

And on command:

"Ya dad, we want to taste the rainbow"

Cue "awwws" and smiles from the old ladies in line.
*It's important to have an audience.

5. Wait for the inevitable capitulation. No parent wants to look like the asshole that always says no when you're asking so adorably.

6. Be prepared to have a couple and then hand them over to your mother when you get home. They are, after all, her favorite candy too.

It's much more effective than a temper tantrum at the checkout. Just ask Jeff.

10 December 2012


Don't tell him I told you, but every once in a while there's a glimpse of the person my teenager will be once the hormones and moodiness have leveled off. 

I'm not saying today was one of those rare days, but the conversation made me smile regardless. That kid is so much like me, it's scary.

Liam: God mom, don't you think you went overboard a bit?
Me: Noooooo. In fact, I think I'll go buy a rug for the front door that says "ho ho ho, Merry Christmas" and then you can look at it every time you come home!
Liam: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Me: You're so ironic Liam.
Liam: I know right?
**Me rolling eyes SO HARD at that phrase, it's the most annoying ever and I have found myself spitting it out on more than one occasion**
Liam: You're weird.
Me: Don't say that! Hey, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to decorate your room while you're at your dads this weekend. Tinsel, lights, a little tree, it'll be FUN. 
Liam: And then I'll tear it down.
Me: And then I'll put it back up and ground you. 
Liam: And then I'll tear it back down.
Me: And then I'll put it back up and take your gifts back.
Liam:...okay, you win.

So, while I'm not actually planning on decorating his room it's nice to know that if I did, he'd suffer through it for the sake of presents. 

Merry Christmas!