Boo-hoo.

These days I feel like a salmon swimming upriver. I don't know what it is about the age of 2 that makes parents feel absolutely unprepared to deal with toddlers, but I do know it's a common theme.

At least I hope so. Maybe everyone else has it together and I'm the only one that has no grip on reality?

Because my youngest kids are effing animals. Although once I think about it, when Nicky went through this destructive phase, Josh was too young to mimic. Now that Josh is there, it's like Nicky is reverting.

The result is I want to hurl myself off the High Level Bridge.

This past week has been especially trying. They're fighting, with fists. They yell at each other. Josh gives Nicky shit every 5 minutes. They tattle on each other constantly. They are breaking things and wrecking things at record speeds.

Nicky has taken to acting like a frill-necked lizard. If you don't know what that is, google image it because I can't for the life of me figure out how to link properly. But, when he feels threatened by Josh he'll hiss at him and you can just picture, if he had a frill it would be WAY up there scaring Josh off.

And it's effective, 95% of the time Josh runs away. It's also the only levity in a really annoying situation.

Because I swear, I discipline. I don't let them get away with awful behavior. They go for time outs, they get spankings, they get toys taken away. They get yelled at, talked to nicely, bargained with. They're loved, they're not ignored, I'm engaged with them. I'm definitely not a perfect parent but I care about how they turn out.

And still. I feel like I'm raising future hood rats.

So that's why I feel like a salmon. I know eventually I'll be successful but damn is it hard on the way there. And I know it's not even the hardest part yet because I'm going through THAT with the oldest one. Although one could say that it's not necessarily harder, it's just a different kind of hard.

I meant to turn out a light-hearted, jokey post. Instead I spiraled down into mommy-whine. Honestly though, lately I've been aching to have the same stomp-your-feet, bawl-your-eyes-out, red-faced tantrums they've been having. But someone has to act like the adult.